Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I recently read a post by an over-50 woman lamenting that she could no longer eat pasta. Dozens of women commented below, offering low-carb recipe substitutions, commiserating with her on the unwelcome midlife “muffin top.”

That post represents how most older women feel about their aging bodies. According to a 2013 study, “Characteristics of women with body size satisfaction at midlife” in the Journal of Women and Aging, an alarming 88% of women age 50 and over reported body size dissatisfaction. And that statistic doesn’t merely point to body image challenges.

Body dissatisfaction is negatively related to health behaviors and quality of life.

According to Dr. Elayne Daniels, an anti-diet, trauma-informed clinical psychologist, negative body image has an increased risk of health problems, including eating disorders, gastrointestinal disorders and nutritional deficiencies. It can produce low self-esteem, social withdrawal and avoidance of events and activities due to self-consciousness, increased pursuit of “diet” plans, engagement in risky behaviors like smoking to try to lose weight, and mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety.

Furthermore, trying to avoid body shame may prevent women from seeking health care and preventive screenings, which can create poorer health outcomes.

On the other hand, satisfied women had a lower body mass index and reported fewer dieting behaviors and fewer eating disorder symptoms, which are rapidly emerging as a major public health problem for women at and beyond midlife, according to Margo Maine, a clinical psychologist, in her 2019 article “Body Image, Eating Disorders, and Women at and Beyond Midlife: The Nine Truths.”

Yet even among the 12% of women who reported body satisfaction, 40% admitted that even a 5-pound weight gain would make them moderately to extremely upset. Weight and shape play a prominent role in how middle-age women feel about themselves, reports study co-author Cristin Runfola.

Body satisfaction is a critical piece to enhancing well-being and healthful aging for women over 50 and beyond. And let’s be clear, body satisfaction isn’t about liking the way you look.

“Rather, it’s about building up a solid sense of self so that our appearance isn’t something that can make or break us anymore” says body image coach Summer Innanen.

“Diet culture, the beauty industry, Hollywood, etc., have told us that our destiny is dependent on being attractive, so it’s not our fault that we’ve conflated our happiness (and health) with looking a certain way” says Innanen.

But how can midlife women ditch body shame for appreciation?

Culturally, we need to shift away from the negative narrative about weight gain that occurs in women’s bodies throughout the life cycles. When we have open dialogue about these natural shifts, the shame fades.

“We gain weight at menarche, with the birth of each child, and we gain weight at menopause, so we’re not going to have the same body size and shape at 50 as we had at 20. And if we don’t expect that, that would be a help” says Joan Chrisler, a professor of psychology at Connecticut College and researcher of weight and eating disorders in women.

Maine agrees: “Today, we criticize an adult woman because she no longer has the body of a 16- or 20-year-old. Although natural for the adult female body, all weight gain is considered wrong.”

When Maine shares information about the incredible natural resources of the female body, she says women slowly begin to appreciate its natural wisdom and are more likely to make changes in their attitudes and behaviors. In her article, she states compelling facts about the protective nature of body fat such as:

– Women’s bodies are designed for survival, hardwired to beat starvation. In a famine, only about 10% of women die while as many as 50% of men will. It’s body fat that protects women.

– Before puberty, a girl’s body is about 12% body fat. After, it’s 17% in order to produce ovulation and menstruation. A mature woman’s body is about 22% body fat, “providing the energy necessary for an ovulating female to survive famine for nine months” says Maine. Thus, women’s bodies have the capacity to maintain the human race.

– The weight that women gain after puberty and menopause is protective. To preserve fertility, reproductive and feeding organs, women first gain fat in their breasts, buttocks, hips and thighs. During the transitional phase into menopause, weight gain of approximately 12 to 15 pounds along with about a 15% to 20% decrease in metabolism naturally occurs. These biologically programmed changes allow women to manage menopausal symptoms, maintain bone density and decrease the risk for osteoporosis. Maine says hormonal shifts during this transitional phase increase the size of fat cells surrounding our reproductive organs as these cells produce estrogen, offsetting the shutdown of the ovaries.

Furthermore, malnutrition and dieting in midlife and beyond can be particularly risky.

According to Maine’s research, depleted fat stores will likely increase menopausal symptoms, and muscle-wasting can reduce metabolic rate and hasten neuromuscular decline. She also found that cognitive impairment secondary to dieting may also be greater, and the mortality risk associated with low weight is greater as people age.

Research in the American Journal of Public Health study “Associations Between Body Composition, Anthropometry, and Mortality in Women Aged 65 Years and Older” found that women with BMIs in the “overweight” category from 25 to 29.9 had the lowest mortality. Moderate weight gain in midlife is associated with longer life expectancy for women.

Finally, Maine shares that “most — even well-informed, resourceful women — don’t know these facts. The truth is that the female body simply knows how to take care of itself.” Thus it’s key to women’s whole health to elevate the conversation regarding midlife body changes as natural and protective, not something to be ashamed of, but appreciated.

With these facts, one of Maine’s clients, a 73-year old woman who battled her body for decades, moved from body shame to appreciation, stating, “I used to see this roll around my middle as my spare tire, and I hated it. Now I see it as my life preserver!”

So ladies, instead of berating our bellies and restricting pasta from our plates, let’s make peace with and respect the wisdom of our bodies.

This article was originally published in the August 4th edition of the Jackson Hole News and Guide.

Be more than a body.

More than an empowering mantra, that is a call to action, led by Dr. Lindsay Kite and Dr. Lexie Kite, body image researchers and founders of the nonprofit Beauty Redefined.

To take a powerful leap forward for positive body image the Kites ask us to see beyond the “all bodies are beautiful, flaws and all” messaging, which is important because it expands the idea of beauty, to take the focus off looks by knocking beauty from the pedestal of how girls and women are valued.

Bombarded by messages defining their value by their body’s appearance, women and girls are seen as bodies first — objects, which the Kites call out as objectification — a foundational piece of their work.

So let’s define objectification, discuss how women internalize these messages called self-objectification, and then transform the pain and shame of body image disruptions through “body image resilience” to be more than body.

Redefining ‘normal’

Objectification is any message or idea that slowly chips away at the idea that women are fully human. It treats us as objects, as parts, in need of fixing, to be looked at, to be evaluated, to be used, to be consumed, to be tossed aside when we don’t fit the ideals, says Dr. Lexie Kite.

It’s social media ads marketing tummy control clothes to hide and flatten belly “rolls.” It’s billboards selling treatments promising to cure cellulite — a normal and natural characteristic of at least 80% of women’s bodies. It’s the amount of screen time movies and TV shows devote to showing women half naked or all naked compared with men. It’s the belief that women need to lose weight to fit into a smaller size wedding dress instead of buying a dress that fits now. It’s in the lyrics of songs — have you listened to them closely?

It’s everywhere. We’re so used to seeing and hearing these messages that it has become invisible and “normal” to objectify women’s bodies. But it’s not normal.

‘The Invisible Corset’

Girls were once fully embodied, enjoying their bodies without a care in the world as to their external appearance. Their bodies were just their Earth suits — that is, until their first body image disruptions occurred, such as being teased for being flat-chested or being told they’d be so much prettier if they’d just lose weight.

Girls learn that their external shells matter. They then internalize these objectifying messages, seeing themselves from this outside view, objects to be consumed. This is self-objectification.

It starts young. Nine years old is the average age when a girl puts on her “invisible corset,” knowing that going forward her value is inextricably tied to her appearance, says Lauren Geertsen, author of “The Invisible Corset.”

Body image disruptions become all consuming: When she steps on the scale and doesn’t like the number, sees herself in a photo, feels self-conscious in her school gym uniform, tries on clothes in the dressing room and, as a woman, when her body is judged by a romantic partner, when she has a baby, when she goes through a breakup … and the list goes on.

The feeling is shame, the sense that there’s something wrong with her body — with her.

From shame to resilience

To cope with disruptions, women and girls can take three pathways, according to the Kites’ research. The first and most harmful path is sinking deeper into shame, which can lead to depression and disengaging with life, to trying to numb the pain with dangerous behaviors such as cutting, disordered eating and disordered exercise.

Or she may try to find “comfort” in our objectifying culture by trying to fix her “flaws,” covering up under-eye circles, fighting wrinkles, strategically dressing to hide parts of her body. This becomes a normal part of a girl’s and woman’s life. Again, not normal. But most women live in this state throughout their lives:

Age 16: I hate my body.

Age 24: I hate my body. I wish I looked like I did at 16.

Age 30: I hate my body. I wish I looked like I did at 24.

Age 37: I hate my body. I wish I looked like I did at 30.

Age 45: I hate my body. I wish I looked like I did at 37.

Age 50: I hate my body. I wish I looked like I did at 45.

Age 65: I hate my body. I wish I looked like I did at 50.

(Source: The Body Love Society)

But women and girls can disrupt this destructive path by taking the third path, rising with “body image resilience” — the ability to become stronger because of the difficulties and shame women experience in their bodies, not in spite of those things — which is the Kite sisters’ mission and the focus of their book “More Than A Body.”

My favorite resilience strategy is “prove yourself wrong.” Let’s say you’re stuck in the self-objectifying belief that you’re not lovable and can’t find love until you lose weight. Instead of sinking into shame or trying to “fix” your body, you choose resilience instead by dating now — and prove your worst fears wrong.

Ultimately the solution is to give girls and women their humanity back by knocking beauty from the pedestal of how our girls and women are valued.

“Achieving peace with our bodies through developing positive body image is the final frontier for too many woman — the last and most stubborn barrier to our own confidence, fulfillment, power, and self-actualization,” the Kite sisters write. “We can be empowered and emboldened and confident and successful in every other area of our lives, and yet still struggle with deep-seated body shame and self-objectification to which we sacrifice incredible amounts of time, money, emotion and energy.”

So let’s be more than beautiful, more than a body — and take action and rise with resilience.

(Originally published in the Jackson Hole News and Guide, February 17, 2021).