Are you living as your Best Self?

Are you truly who you want to be? Is this the life you really want?

How would you answer those questions?

Think about your daily life.

Are you thriving, or going through the motions?

Are your days full of work, relationships, and activities that are true to your authentic self, or do you feel trapped on a treadmill of responsibility?

If you dream of a better life, now is the time to turn your dream into a reality. And the tools you need are within your grasp, to design a life that is fulfilling on the deepest levels.

I invite you to identify who you are when you’re being your best self.

It’s a foundational piece of your self-care.

Self-care doesn't mean the same thing.

The following exercise is designed to help you identify your “Best Self” and “Anti-Self” personas and develop actionable steps to become more aligned with your Best Self.

Be Your Best Self Exercise

Grab a notebook or journal, pen and find a quiet space. Give yourself the gift of time to explore who you are when you’re being your best self.

5 Steps to Identify Your Best Self

Step 1: Identify Traits of Your “Best Self” by reading over the adjectives below.


2. Visualize: Close your eyes and visualize a typical day in the life of your “Best Self.” What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel?

3. Best Self Story: Write a short paragraph that encapsulates who this “Best Self” is, incorporating the elements you’ve visualized and the adjectives you’ve listed.

Step 2: Identify Your “Anti-Self”

  1. Review the words list above. Think the opposite and create your list.
  2. Anti-Self Triggers: List situations or triggers that often lead you to behave as your “Anti-Self.”
  3. Anti-Self Story: Write a short paragraph that encapsulates who this “Anti-Self” is.

Step 3: Compare and Contrast

  1. Analysis: Put the descriptions of your “Best Self” and “Anti-Self” side by side. What stands out to you?
  2. Interactions: Write down instances where your “Best Self” and “Anti-Self” have clashed. What was the outcome?

Step 4: Actionable Steps

  1. List Obstacles: What is preventing you from being your “Best Self”? List these barriers down.
  2. Develop Strategies: For each obstacle, write down at least one strategy to overcome it.
  3. Set Goals: Based on your strategies, set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) that will help you transition from your “Anti-Self” to your “Best Self.”

Step 5: Commit to Change

  1. Accountability: Share your discoveries and action plan with a trusted friend, family member, or with me as your coach to hold you accountable.
  2. Review and Revise: Set a time (like Sunday evenings, the first of the month) to review your progress and adjust your goals and strategies as needed.


After completing the exercise, reflect on the following questions:

  1. How do you feel after identifying your “Best Self” and “Anti-Self”?
  2. What was the most surprising discovery you made during this exercise?
  3. What will be your first step toward becoming your “Best Self”?

Becoming your “Best Self” is continuous process, but with self-awareness and actionable steps make the path clearer.

If you want to define your best self and take action, but vitamin “T” for time is a challenge for you, I invite you to book a “Design Your Future Self 2 Hour Power Session” and we can explore your Best Self together. Get started by shooting me an email!

Coach Tanya

Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty

What if you could declare your own authentic beauty and experience beauty as a creative, dynamic process?

What if you could inhabit your body with more joy and confidence?

These are the two goals of “Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty,” the 4th competency of The Be Body Positive Model.

The Be Body Positive Model was created by Connie Sobczak and Elizabeth Scott, founders of The Body Positive. It’s a comprehensive framework that aims to promote self-acceptance, healthy body image, and overall well-being.

The model comprises five interrelated competencies, each addressing a fundamental aspect of fostering a healthy relationship with oneself and one’s body.

The 5 Be Body Positive Competencies

  1. Reclaim Health
  2. Practice Intuitive Self-Care
  3. Cultivate Self-Love
  4. Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty
  5. Build Community

These are the fundamental skills I teach in my role as a licensed Be Body Positive Facilitator. When you practice these on a daily basis, you can learn to live peacefully and healthfully in your body.

Proficiency with these skills allows you to care for yourself from a place of self-love and appreciation, leading to alignment with your purpose and life goals. 

Rather than dictating a restrictive or prescriptive set of rules to follow, The Be Body Positive Model uses practical tools, inspiration, and support to empower you to find your own way to lasting health and greater happiness.

Furthermore, research reports empowering benefits.

A Stanford University pilot study showed that The 5 Competencies of the Be Body Positive Model had a positive effect on participants’ self-reported guilt, beliefs of thin ideal, body satisfaction, and social determinants of body image. Among these, “Declaring Your Own Authentic Beauty” stands as a pivotal milestone in the journey towards genuine self-love and acceptance.

Click here to watch THIS IS BEAUTY, a one-minute youtube video of empowering messages from participants in my recent “Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty” workshop.

The Four Benefits – Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty

Declaring your own authentic beauty goes beyond mere appearance. It is an empowering process that encourages you to acknowledge and embrace your true self, beyond the external façade.

It involves recognizing and accepting your inherent worth, strengths, and uniqueness, while shedding societal judgments and unrealistic expectations. By encouraging you to look beyond the superficial, The Body Positive inspires a profound connection to the essence of who you are.

1. Break Free from Societal Norms

In a world obsessed with the “perfect” body, declaring your authentic beauty is an act of rebellion against society’s narrow beauty standards. By acknowledging that beauty is diverse and not confined to a specific mold, you can liberate yourself from the shackles of comparison and self-doubt. This newfound freedom allows you to celebrate your individuality and embrace the beauty within yourself, irrespective of societal norms.

My Beauty Is...Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty

2. Build Resilience and Self-Confidence

When you declare their authentic beauty, you cultivate a sense of resilience that shields you from the harsh criticisms and judgments of others. By finding value in your unique attributes and recognizing that your worth is not tied to external validation, you can develop a profound self-confidence. This newfound self-assurance allows you to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and grace.

My Beauty is My Monster Thighs. Declare Your Own Authentic Beauty

3. Enhance Your Mental and Emotional Well-Being

The journey of embracing one’s authentic beauty is inherently transformative, leading to improved mental and emotional well-being. The Body Positive’s approach nurtures a positive self-image, which can help reduce the prevalence of anxiety, depression, and eating disorders that often result from negative body image issues. By embracing your authentic self, you foster self-compassion, self-acceptance, and a deeper appreciation for life.

4. Cultivate Positive Relationships

The process of declaring one’s authentic beauty not only transforms you as an individual but also enriches your relationships with others. As you become more accepting of yourself, you extend the same compassion and understanding to those around you. This creates a ripple effect, fostering a supportive and nurturing community that celebrates diversity and individuality.

Expand your imagination to behold authentic beauty in yourself and others. ♡ Tanya

Five steps to sustainable self-care

What if you said goodbye to quick fixes and welcomed sensible, sustainable self-care into your life?

Sure this might sound like a great idea, but pressing the easy, convenient button is way more appealing, because frankly, you’re stressed, moody, don’t have the time to slow down and no matter how much you sleep, you still feel exhausted.

Maybe your pantry is full of Gwyneth Paltrow goop-like supplements, such as “High School Genes,” “Madame Ovary,” and a “G.Tox 7-Day Reset Kit.”

You’re doing all the “right” wellness things, but perhaps you still have this nagging sense of feeling unwell. And you’re not even sure you feel any better $195 later.

While wellness sprung from good intentions, “we are now relentlessly flooded with exploitative offerings, questionable ideas, and a mounting pressure to stay devoted to the divine doctrine of wellness,” says author, Rina Raphael in her book, “The Gospel of Wellness, Gyms, Gurus, Goop, and the False Promise of Self-Care.”

“Women have been led down a kale-covered path promising nothing short of salvation,” says Raphael.

Hey listen, if you love those supplements, go for it (but maybe read the disclaimer first). I’m definitely not judging as I’ve spent hundreds of dollars (eek, maybe thousands if I’m honest) on all kinds of weird supplements and magical products over the past decade.

I get it. I’m human and I want to fit in and feel good about myself too.

So it’s no wonder we fall for Gwyneth’s solutions that prey upon our insecurities and give us hope, promising to boost our menopausal metabolisms so that we can fit into a pubescent pant size. Well, maybe, err, for the short-term.

What can you do instead?

Say goodbye to magic bullet solutions and decide to change and grow your self-care routine. For good.

While not as fun or flashy as taking goop’s “Balls in the Air” supplement, the basics of self-care work. And when approached sensibly, building a sustainable self-care routine can be simple too.

So here are five steps to sustainable self-care:

5 Steps to sustainable self-care

1. Evaluate your self-care skills

  • Are you eating enough protein or veggies?
  • Is there room for better quality food?
  • Do you eat consistently or skip meals?
  • Do you stop eating when you’re satisfied?
  • How often do you move your body, drink enough water, get adequate sleep?
  • Have you considered that your wellbeing includes a healthy connection with others? What, if any, self-care strategies do you practice to manage stress?
  • And how about feeling empowered, like you matter and you’re making a difference?

That’s known as the deep health approach to self-care, one that transforms your whole health, not just one aspect of it. Taking a wide-lens look at your wellbeing matters because each area of your health is deeply entwined and influences your eating and self-care behaviors. When you understand this, you may learn that you’ve been trying to solve the wrong self-care problem.

2. Rip off the self-care Band-Aid

rip off the self-care band-aid

Let’s say you’re exhausted so you take two “Why Am I So Effing Tried” capsules because you desperately need more energy. Or, you’re sick of struggling with emotional eating, so you start a 21-day sugar detox to stop your “go to” comfort habit of emptying a family size bag of M+M’s with a glass of Chardonnay.

On the surface, a diet or supplement may seem to “fix” your challenge, but they’re both just band-aids. As a specialist in habit behavior change, I’ll teach you to see that all human behavior solves a problem. Together, like detectives, we’ll look for the root cause; we’ll focus on the “why” of your behavior or symptom and take action to solve the source of your stress or fatigue.

While a behavior, like stress eating, may seem “spur-of-the-moment,” the groundwork is laid in advance.

But don’t worry if your struggles feel insurmountable. You don’t need to improve all your self-care skills at once.

3. Simplify for sustainable self-care

Next consider how you learn any new skill. You would take one step a time, right?

Let’s say that with compassion, you discover the source of your unwanted M+M and Chardonnay stress habit. You’re overwhelmed with work and parenting, lack me time, so you stay up late and sleep poorly. And this becomes your daily pattern. It feels like there’s no way to stop this vicious cycle. But there is, when you simplify the learning process.

Instead of throwing everything but the kitchen sink at yourself forcing yourself to solve all these challenges at once (hello more stress), you choose one self-care skill to practice. Maybe it’s replacing your late night phone scrolling with reading a fun book to wind down before bed.

And because life isn’t all unicorns and rainbows, meet yourself where you’re at right now. Do a nervous system check. Ask yourself: what am I ready, willing, and able to change within the context of my real (and maybe messy) life? Sensible self-care simplifies your life. So let’s not add another “to do” to an already overflowing list.

4. Ditch self-care perfectionism

imperfect sustainable self care

What if you averaged B+ self-care at the end of year?

Don’t let an all-or-nothing, “on and off the wagon” mindset get in the way of good, sustainable self-care. Sustainable means it flexible and success is on a spectrum. Consistency is the name of the game.

And finally, self-acceptance is foundational to sensible and sustainable self-care.

5. Radically accept yourself

Honor your unique body. You wouldn’t try to force a size 8 foot into a size 4 pubescent shoe would you?

Listen, feeling crappy about yourself can be a life thief causing you to chase an “ideal” body that was your high school size or was never yours. That unrealistic mindset can create a messed up relationship with your self-care.  Meet yourself with compassion and recognize you’re not alone. Take back your time and money. Regain your inner peace and confidence.

Say goodbye to magic bullet, trendy solutions.

Say hello to sensible, sustainable self-care.

Grab your free assessment and let’s get you started!

Complete the self-care assessment and you’ll get a complimentary coaching session to support you on your way back to feeling energized, confident and empowered!

♡ Tanya

(This article was originally published in the December 21, 2022 edition of the Jackson Hole News and Guide).