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Weight Shame Hurts Every Body

This is a shout-out to all the women and girls working on liking their bodies. This s— is hard.

Why? Because today’s perfectionist, weight biased body culture feeds our dissatisfaction.

It fuels poor body image by spreading the conventional “wisdom” that healthy equals thin and fat is bad.

“Diet culture leads most women to see themselves as ‘too big’ and makes it difficult for people in larger bodies to feel they don’t need to shrink themselves,” says Christy Harrison author of “Anti-Diet.”

It’s become normal for women and girls to obsessively count carbohydrate grams and to anxiously pursue 10,000 steps on their Fitbits, all to manipulate what we believe are our bad bodies.

And we’re doing this to become … healthier?

We believe we must avoid weight gain or lose weight — at any and all costs — if we want to be happy, loved and have a body that’s accepted by diet culture.

“I truly believe that for the vast majority of the population, managing or losing weight is not about health but about a fear of not being accepted by others,” says body acceptance coach Kristina Bruce.

“A much bigger health concern we have on hand here is the staggering number of people who feel shame about their bodies. The only time I don’t like how my body looks is when I fear what other people will think of it. This tells me once again — my body is not the problem.”

Agreed. Your body isn’t the problem.

The problem is we view our bodies through the lens of a $72 billion diet culture that stigmatizes weight.

Harrison explains that weight stigma “frames larger bodies as a problem and tells people that they need to shrink themselves in order to be okay, which is the very definition of weight stigma.”

Virgie Tovar, an activist, author and one of the nation’s leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image, explains how weight bias affects us all through what she describes as three levels of weight stigma: intrapersonal, interpersonal and institutional.

Intrapersonal is how much you internalize the negative stereotypes about weight.

“The fact that we pretty much all have some level of intrapersonal weight stigma in our society is one of the hallmarks of living in diet culture,” Tovar says.

Second, interpersonal weight stigma is how you are treated based solely on weight or size — such as body shaming or bullying.

Lastly, institutional fat phobia describes how larger bodies are marginalized in society. For example, if you go to buy a ski jacket and the only color in your size is black or you have to buy a men’s jacket.

Weight stigma makes it difficult to like your body unless you are “lucky” enough to be one of the 5% of women who naturally possess the “ideal” body type. And even many of those women live in fear of weight gain.

Furthermore, evidence-based research shows that not only is weight stigma harmful to our body image, but feeling bad about our bodies is affecting our health, regardless of body size.

“I Think Therefore I Am: Perceived Ideal Weight as a Determinant of Health,” a 2008 study published in the American Journal of Public Health, found that the larger the difference between people’s current weight and their perceived “ideal” weight, the more mental and physical health problems they’d had in the past month, regardless of their body mass index. The study included 170,000 people of a variety of races, education levels and ages.

One major reason weight stigma is so harmful is that it’s so darn stressful for everybody, but especially for those living in larger bodies.

“Stress hormones … can have damaging effects on both physical and mental if they are secreted over a longer period of time called allostatic load,” writes David Levitin in his article “The Neuroscience Behind Why We Feel Stressed — and What to Do About It.”

That leads to a dysregulation in critical body systems — including the immune, digestive, cognitive, reproductive systems — and creates cardiac and mental health problems.

A 2018 study found that “perceived weight discrimination doubles the 10-year risk of high allostatic load. Eliminating weight stigma may reduce physiological dysregulation, improving obesity-related morbidity and mortality.”

Research by Harrison — the “Anti-Diet” author — comes to the same conclusion: “Weight stigma has been linked to an increased risk of mental-health conditions such as disordered eating, emotional distress, negative body image, low self-esteem and depression.”

If you’ve felt “so much better” after weight loss — especially after living in a larger body — could it be the result of no longer experiencing weight stigma and not necessarily the weight loss itself? It’s a question Bruce has asked.

So, ladies, here’s my shout-out to help you like your body: Don’t buy into diet culture’s weight stigmatizing. I’ll stand with you.

I’d also like to leave you with words of wisdom from poet Hollie Holden:

Today I asked my body what she needed,

Which is a big deal

Considering my journey of

Not Really Asking That Much.

I thought she might need more water.

Or protein.

Or greens.

Or yoga.

Or supplements.

Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower

Reflecting on her stretch marks,

Her roundness where I would like flatness,

Her softness where I would like firmness,

All those conditioned wishes

That form a bundle of

Never-Quite-Right-Ness,

She whispered very gently:

Could you just love me like this?

(This article was published in the Jackson Hole News and Guide, February 5, 2020 edition).

What’s Healthier Than Kale?

Kale’s all the rage. Everyone’s talking about it because it’s healthy. But do you want to know what’s even healthier than kale?

Having a good relationship with food!

I used to think that because I loved eating healthy food I had a healthy relationship with food. Over time, though, and with further education, I had the courage to dig deeper and finally learned that my relationship with food actually wasn’t healthy at all. It was a relationship filled with stress and worry – about my health, and about my ever-changing body.

Sometimes, we have the best intentions for our health and the plan still backfires because we don’t have a healthy relationship with food. We can get stuck in the cycle of “being good” and then go back to our usual habits, and then starting all over again with a new plan. Again, again and again.

The Diet Mind

For example, let’s say you make the decision to give up processed sugar. On day one, you feel empowered. Day two still feels pretty good, by day three you’re pretty proud of yourself… but as the days go on you’re starting to feel restricted, like you’re on a diet (or an eating plan), like you have to be regimented and restrictive.

This is the diet mind the vast majority of us have developed over the years.

Over 20 million women and 10 million men have been diagnosed with clinical eating disorders according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). Yet if these statistics included subclinical challenges with eating called “disordered eating” which falls between eating disorders and normal eating, the numbers would be shocking says Hilary Kinavey, therapist and founder of BeNourished.

I fell into this category of “disordered eating” when I was obsessed with eating all things healthy.

Even when we consciously try to make change just for health’s sake, our preprogrammed mindset begins to take over and follow old patterns.

When we are engaged with the dieting or restrictive mind, we are nervous, anxious, thinking about weight (even if it’s supposed to be about health) and preoccupied with food. Thoughts become black and white. Flexibility and pleasure are replaced with agendas and plans. We tighten up and we lose our grounded footing. Self-hatred dominates.

  • Be Nourished

So, how do we conquer this mentality?

With awareness and by taking baby steps.

The first step that you can take today is taking the time to pause and reflect on your unique relationship with food. I encourage you to try this journal exercise:

Sit somewhere quiet, without distractions. Grab a pen and paper and let your mind flow. Don’t try and come up with the “right” answers, just let your hand write what it wants to. Speak from your heart.

Journal: Make Peace with Food

  • How would you describe your current relationship with food?
  • If your relationship isn’t where you’d like it to be, what would an ideal relationship with food be and feel like for you?

As a Mind Body Nutritionist, my favorite strategy for helping clients have a healthier relationship with food is by taking them through the re-learning process of becoming an Intuitive Eater again.

Intuitive Eating

Intuitive Eating is an evidence-based, dynamic integration approach which connects the mind and the body. The 10 Intuitive Eating principles work by either cultivating or removing obstacles to body awareness. It’s a personal process of honoring health by listening and responding to the direct messages of the body in order to meet your physical and psychological needs.

It’s a liberating process. It brings you back into your body and taps into your own innate wisdom.

Intuitive Eating is not a diet or food plan. Period. There is no pass or fail, therefore, there is no “blowing it,” rather it’s a journey of self-discovery and connection to the needs of your mind and body. Ultimately, you are the expert of your body. Only you know what hunger, fullness, and satisfaction feels like. Only you know your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Intuitive Eating is an empowerment tool – it’s time to unleash it and liberate yourself from the prison of the “diet” mindset and dissatisfaction with our human bodies.

To your happiness and health,

  • Tanya

♡ Want to become an Intuitive Eater? Check out my private and group coaching options! I’d love to support you on this life-changing eating and self-care journey!

Are You On A High Fact “Diet”?

The High-Fact Diet

Do you ever feel burdened by the fact that you know so much about nutrition? This is what is called a “high-fact diet”.

Many of us are almost too well educated about what we eat, and this is actually creating stress in our bodies. And yes, I am speaking from personal experience. If we overthink every morsel we eat, we can be causing more harm than good.

Knowledge can nourish us. It can open our minds and make us feel empowered. But as with anything we consume, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. (Source)

Take me for example…

There are these peanut butter crackers. I love them. They’re just so delicious! BUT they have high fructose corn syrup in them. I used to eat them occasionally and really enjoyed them. However, when I learned how to read nutrition labels and learned that HFCS is “bad”, I started to avoid them altogether.

One day while I was still in nutrition school, I went on long hike in the middle of nowhere and didn’t bring enough snacks. I was, however, near a gas station where I saw my beloved peanut butter crackers. I was starving, and they were taunting me. But I got so stressed about eating a package that after devouring them, I was consumed by guilt because I knowingly ate something that wasn’t health promoting.

I believed the saying “you are what you eat” and so I believed that I was choosing to “poison” myself with HFCS. Of course, I now know that this is ridiculous. But when your mind is full of nutrition facts about how certain foods affect you, you begin to believe that you shouldn’t ever have these foods.

I can’t stress this enough – all foods can fit into a healthy diet.

We Don’t Need to be Perfect

No matter what the media or your nutritionist says (as I used to practice this way), we don’t need to be “perfect” eaters. Today, I focus on eating healthy foods for the most part – but I no longer categorize foods as either good or bad. I am more aware of how I am nourished by how I am living my whole life.

Right now, I am on vacation with my sister’s family and their three kids. I eat what I am served. Period. I am relaxed. I don’t have to cook. Instead, I focus on the joy of being around my family. I am nourished by far more than the food. Our metabolisms are fired up by more than what we eat. It’s also affected by what we think and how we feel about our food (and life).

If you missed my blog post about how your mindset affects your metabolism, you can check it out here.

Do You Have a High-Fact Diet?

  • So, how do you look at ______? (Insert your gas station peanut butter crackers equivalent.)
  • Can you eat _______ without a side of guilt or self-judgement?

Your answer to this question will tell you whether or not you’re living a high-fact “diet.”

If you are indeed way too knowledgable to approach your plate without guilt, then please – breathe. Take that weight off your shoulders.

Nutrition facts are everywhere (and my head is full of them) but we need to remember what we’re not reading on the internet and magazines, and hearing on podcasts and other media. There are many people who have less healthy food and exercise habits but somehow avoid getting diseases and live to ripe old ages. How is this possible? Our metabolisms and health are affected by far more than what we put in our mouths.

Eating healthy food is wonderful and is part of good health. But what you eat doesn’t define your whole health. Notice if you’re on a high fact diet and how it’s affecting the health of your mind and spirit.

Need some support in becoming a more relaxed, flexible healthy eater? I would love to chat!

  • Tanya